Blood Splatters On The Floor
by MrsDuckyFuzzles
Summary: Edward has left and Bella is left with the ghosts of her past haunting her. After a brutal conflict at school everything in her life is put into perspective, leading her to a place she was once terrified of ending up. Que dark future with a dark Bella.
1. Fragile

**YES! I know! 'Why the hell start on another when you've left it two weeks since 'The Heat' update?!' I'm sorry, but an awesome idea popped into my mind and I cant hold them back like I have my other two stories. Please read and tell me if you likey it!!**

**NOTE: This is ALL in BELLA POINT OF VIEW!  
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**Disclaimer (counts for each chapter from here onward): Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and the whole bloomin awesome assed Saga. Sorry to disappoint, but it's not mine.  
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**Fragile**

_"Bella, we're leaving.... it's not the right place for you.... my world is not for you....... exactly what was to be expected...... I don't want you.... you're not good for me.....reckless.... stupid.... as if I'd never existed... goodbye, Bella." The pain. The feel of the wind as he runs from me. Can't wait to get away._

_"Bella..." The red hair. The red eyes. The blood._

"BELLA!" My eyes snapped open and I sat alert as the image of Victoria flashed under my eyelids. "Oh, Bella." I heard a low voice over a piercing scream, and quickly realising that the scream was my own, it choked off, though the terror filling me far from gone. Charlie was on his knee's by my bed, holding my hand and leaning towards me. _I promised not to scream tonight. He needs his sleep._

"Bells it's okay. I'm here." He handed me a tissue like procedure -as if he were doing rounds at a hospital for the emotionally disturbed. This was just like any other morning, but it never ceased to have me waking terrified and virtually paralysed. In the first seconds of waking from my replay nightmares, my mind immediately believes that she was here for me for what Edward did, and that Charlie was about to die for my bad judgements in love. The thing is, I feel like this all of the time. I can feel her coming for me, just like I felt something changing between Edward and I before he left. I never stopped loving Edward, but I can't say the same for him.

_...'as if I'd never existed'... _I'd never heard such a pitiful lie -it was bordering on insanely hilarious. _I_ was bordering on insanely hilarious. The way my heart clung to the idea of his existence in my world made me utterly laughable. Every day his face flashes in my mind -sometimes more than once. A flash of Victoria as if peeking at her moving with her vampiric grace behind a murky lens, unable to see her as a whole but just watching her as if from various angles from one enclosing and filthy window. This is another dream that I have often, completely bypassing the scene where my heart was frozen -loving the same man for the rest of my life, no-matter who or what comes my way- and heading straight to the part where Victoria searches for me, trying to get her way to my side of the glass, though some invisible force keeps her from charging and breaking it herself.

I cried for the usual amout of time that when I wasn't nearly done, I was reminded of reality as my alarm buzzed. I stopped my sobbing and looked at it, understanding why it was reminding me. _There's nothing you can do about it now. All I can do is go forward - whether I want to or not, pushed and pulled._ I reached over and turned it off, wiping my nose with the soiled tissue Charlie had given me. "Time for school." I said, trying to sound confident, but my groggy and broken voice alerted him otherwise.

"Bells maybe you should stay off today." _and give the school more fuel to burn me with? No thanks._

"I need a routine Charlie, plus what kind of future am I going to have if I obsess day and night, letting my past decide my future?" He looked a little shocked at my words, but chose to try and hide it. _I must look so fragile. Everyone thinks I'm fragile._

"Wise words. Okay, but if anything happens you have to promise me you'll come straight home." I looked into my fathers eyes sheepishly, knowing that he knew I was unstable, but not so much that he would do what needed to be done. I needed some professional help. He'd suggested it before, but my reaction was hardly sane. I screamed and shouted to the point that he would never talk about it again. I needed something to calm me down. Every day was lived in bed-wetting fear and I was royally fed up of it. I hugged him once more as he took it as his que to leave and let me get ready for school.

After my cold shower -as close to the temperature of Edwards skin as I could manage- I rifled my draws and wardrobe for something less dismal to wear. I felt very disheartened at my what I saw, as periods of my grieving shone brightly amongst the black items. In the early days I'd removed everything blue, followed by anything colourful in my deep depression days. The next stage is acceptance. _Is this me beginning that stage?_

I decided on a knit cardigan that I only wore when I needed some comfort and I was feeling especially conscious of everyone around me looking at my black drab. I picked the normal black shirt, but teamed with blue jeans instead of black. I no longer wanted to regard a mourning widow to a man who was still alive -in a sense- and had left me to go find some form of nice little distraction. I can only hope for him that he kept to his diet of animals, though I wouldn't have cared if he were to return and end my pathetic excuse of a life now.

As I walked down the stairs and appeared in the kitchen to say goodbye, Charlies eyes bugged and he almost choked on his toast. "Bella... you're looking a little... better." He said it like a question, causing a small smile to play at my lips. He noticed how close I was tom smiling and grinned widely at how close I had come.

"Thanks Dad." If there is anyone left in the world to make me smile, it was my father. He was the only person in my life that hadn't abandoned me. He wished me a good day -something impossible, even if magic was real- as I walked out to my truck, skipping breakfast again. I can't remember the last time I ate breakfast. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I ate. I remember Charlie coming home from work and catching me putting my plates of uneaten food in the sink, my stomach unable to take anything but pain. I shook my head as I took a detour from the school. _I've been starving myself. How stupid. _I pulled into a gas station and grabbed a nutrigrain bar, scoffing it the second it was paid for. My stomach didn't want it, but I did. If I could win the fight with myself to not breakdown and be official mental hospital material, then I could force my stomach to comply with me.

Once I reached school with an audible clank and bang of my smoky exhaust pipe, I took a deep breath and had a talk with myself. "New day. New start. Okay Bella -" I stopped. The name felt too casual. I didn't want to be casual. I wanted a fresh start, without my nickname for reminders. "- _Isabella._" I tried out my real name to realise that it was my real name. Bella is my shadow. I am not clumsy Bella. I am _Isa_bella - determined to find a purpose in this world. _I need to find a purpose. _

I got out of my truck and walked directly to the home office, opening the door and spotting the fliers I had come in here to see. _'What can I do with my life after highschool?' _I picked up the appropriately named flier, a small smile threatening to appear again. It felt so foreign to smile, that when i felt the impulse - a rare occurrence- I'd hold it down like I had done so with every day during my depression.

For the first time in months I understood the language others were speaking. I understood the subjects -in part at least- of every class I had. Once fourth period had ended and the bell for lunch rang, I felt my stomach rumble in submission. My hand drifted to the foreign feeling of hunger, and I wondered at the subtle changes already beginning in my life. Today would bring something for me. Today I would get myself a plan. Joining the cafeteria line, I heard Laurens sneering voice a few people ahead.

"That ugly duckling needs a bath. Have you noticed how filthy she looks? I mean, when hot stuff made his break for freedom, did he take her makeup kit too?" This earned a giggle from the other girl -Jessica IU discovered as I peered my head around the boy in-front of me to see her face creased with amusement. I continued to listen, wanting to catch up on some things and talk about them at the lunch table like I knew anything.

"Did you notice how greasy her hair is? I mean, keeping her natural hair colour is just UGH-" she stuck her finger in her mouth in a gaggin motion, causing Jessica to giggle once again. "- but the least she could do is go do herself over or something. I mean, its been what? Seven months? Get over it already, or just get lost hanging with us like you're our friend. You know?" It felt wrong listening to this. _What had that poor girl done to deserve being slagged off so badly by the queen bitches?_

"Yeah. Bella's become a right Emo." My face paled as I heard my name, then instead of becoming hurt and embarrassed, I became angry. I let out my anger for having to hear this. I let out my anger not ever being good enough for anything. I let out my anger for having to see little whores like Jessica and Lauren everyday and genuinely believe that they are concerned about my welfare. Now I know all their fake concern was for gossip.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I growled at them, and Jessica turned, looking at me in shock and a little fear, already trying to apologise when Lauren told her to shut up blabbering, turning her attentions to me.

"There's nothing wrong with us sweety." She cooed like she was talking to a stupid and petulant child, fueling the anger in me I was fighting so hard to contain. "No, there is nothing wrong with Jessica and I. You see, _we_ can get dates. _We_ look like girls. We can keep our men if we wanted to, unlike you. Have you even looked at yourself lately? You're hideous. You're pale, your hair makes me gag on first sight and you reek of obsessive freak. He was smart running from you, but one thing that wasn't smart is leaving school." She turned to Jessica. "I could have showed him what he was missing with you." As she said the last word she turned and gave me accusatory eyes, clearly please with herself. My hands were balled into tight fists that I felt close to drawing blood. The last thing I needed was to pass out after being dissed like that.

"What's this?!" She said with a raised voice as she stole my crushed flyer I wasn't aware was still in my hands, grabbing the attention of the few poeple left who weren't already listening, no doubt eager for my reaction. I shot Jessica a glare as she looked at me apologetically. _She thinks I'm fragile too. Everyone thinks I'm so fucking fragile! _I was about to snap. "'What can I do with life after high-school?'" She read to the cafeteria, milking this for as much attention that she could gain without taking her top off. "You can give me Edwards number for starters." She giggled as a few spectators chuckled, finding the show amusing. I looked at all of their faces, taking in just how inhuman they all were. They were malicious, pathetic and fake -not one ounce of genuine in the room apart from Angela -and even she had switched to contacts in aid to not look dorky to the other animals around her.

"HOW DARE YOU!!" I screamed like a banshee, utterly livid, directed at everyone. I had never wished to be a vampire so much in my life. I would go through all of that pain to put superficial bitches like lauren and every foundation caked beauty who tries too hard for sexual attention. I would do anything to remove such distractions. Then it all clicked for me. _'My kind are easily distracted.'_

_This is what he meant as a distraction? _An image of Jessica or Lauren on Edwards arm made me lunge for the closest person. Thank god it was Lauren who was closest. I pinned her to the table with a strength I never knew I had as everyone gasped and froze at my reaction. I held her by the throat as she tried to gurgle for help and her eyes screamed in fear. She'd never faced James for Edward. She'd never known his love and had it ripped away. She never _would. _My face inches from her own, but close enough to see the fear in her eyes, I spoke some truth to her.

"He'd never want a superficial bitch. He'd never touch you. You're tainted. There's nothing _natural_ about you. This hair?-" I pulled at her hair as she wailed, grabbing for my tightening hand at her throat and the hand gripped onto her brittle but shiny hair from her obvious overuse of hair spray. "-this is fake. 100% platinum fakery." I pulled with all of my might, finding courage and strength and a malicious side to me that I had never known before. She screamed as I almost sensed that something was about to happen. Blood squirted onto the tiles of the floor as I tugged her hair free from her scalp. I spat around me as a light splatter showered my face and torso lightly. I didn't cringe at the blood, but instead I stared at the specks decorating the cafeteria table as arms restrained my from behind. I continued to stare at the blood that if I were a vampire, I would take from her like a snack, ending her superficial life for a natural need. As I continued with my feral sounds everything went black as a hard force collided with my head.

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	2. Blood Splatters

**Chapter two so sooooon? Yes, I'm feeling guilty about not updating my stories often enough recently, so I'm working overtime in my currently unfit state. If I keel over from my efforts will that satisfy some highly demanding people, especially a specific one on my other story 'The Heat'? I hope so Mr. Demandy. Those of my readers who are brilliant, beautiful and GRATEFUL, thank you for staying with me through the months, because I'm grateful to have you XD ANYWAYS... back to the new story!  
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Last time on Natural Fisher...**_

"He'd never want a superficial bitch. He'd never touch you. You're tainted. There's nothing _natural_ about you. This hair?-" I pulled at her hair as she wailed, grabbing for my tightening hand at her throat and the hand gripped onto her brittle but shiny hair from her obvious overuse of hair spray. "-this is fake. 100% platinum fakery." I pulled with all of my might, finding courage and strength and a malicious side to me that I had never known before. She screamed as I almost sensed that something was about to happen. Blood squirted onto the tiles of the floor as I tugged her hair free from her scalp. I spat around me as a light splatter showered my face and torso lightly. I didn't cringe at the blood, but instead I stared at the specks decorating the cafeteria table as arms restrained my from behind. I continued to stare at the blood that if I were a vampire, I would take from her like a snack, ending her superficial life for a natural need. As I continued with my feral sounds everything went black as a hard force collided with my head.

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**Blood Splatters**

_"Bella..." Red hair, wild in the wind. Teeth bared as she grins at me. Blood drips from her fingers. Blood splatters on the floor... A cafeteria of children. Both hands gripping mercilessly... Blood splatters on the floor.... Men in robes holding hands..... Blood splatters on the floor...._

I woke from my dream with a start. _What the HELL was that?! _A sudden sharp pain and an overwhelming need to lay back down washed over me. I placed my hand to my head as it set back down on the pillow that felt way too hard to be my own. "What the...?" Opening my eyes and feeling around I realised that I was in the hospital again. _What the hell am I here for? _I looked to my left and saw my father fast asleep in the uncomfortable looking visitors chair.

I opened my mouth to speak, when the events of the day came rushing back to me. _Oh my God. _I got up, ignoring the overwhelming dizziness i felt and ran for the adjoining bathroom, locking the door. "What the fuck?!" I whispered at my reflection when I noticed the bandage on my head. I removed it for reasons indescribable to me. Perhaps I needed confirmation that everything had actually happened? All I knew was the foreign feeling echoing through me as I saw my fresh wound, stitches criss-crossing my fully exposed cut. _Oh my God._

The small traces of deep red blood danced across my forehead beautifully. In my aversion to the smell, I had never actually stopped and looked at the brilliant red life-force. Now I understood why Vampires craved it so much -it screamed life. This red liquid was essential for life -without it life would be impossible, unless you were a vampire. _This is what made me fragile. _If the blood was gone I wouldn't be so breakable- but as I said, the only way that can be made possible is if I were a vampire myself._ Dare I even think of myself as such a being?_

As the idea spread across my mind like wildfire, I let myself think of what making such a decision would do to me. _Isabella the... vampire? Isabella the vampire. The almighty Isabella. Isabella Cullen... _My face fell and the ghost of pain brushed past me -like a harmless shadow really, but still there. The Cullen name would forever be on my shadow, no-matter what I did with my life now. All I could do was exceed it so it was just a milestone to my destination. I had to ask myself... _what is my destination?_

In my aid to find a path for myself, had one just presented itself to me? Were my plaguing dreams leading me to this decision? Was I always headed this way? _What way am I even heading..? _I took a moment, still staring at my reflection, imagining flawless features and pale skin, but when it came to the hypnotic eyes, I couldn't decide on the colour. Would I kill humans for this lif force? My eyes flitted back to the specks of blood on my forehead. Could I do it, or would I be destroying something important? I thought about my past -about my time before Edward up to the moment at the first awkward biology lesson. He'd told me that during that lesson his every second was spent on finding ways to lure me out with him so he could drink my blood. My entire body shivered violently if he had done what his instincts had begged him to do.

If I was dead right now I would be a long forgotten corpse in Forks Cemetery. Who would have visited me? Would Edward have the front to go to my funeral? Would they have even found my body, or would he have hidden it well within the forest? Would he have made it look like a bear attack? More importantly, could he have ever forgiven himself? All that I had experienced with Edward would never have happened, and I would have died seeing the world as I once had before I'd learnt secrets not even my dreams were capable of manufacturing. If I had done even one of the things that Edward could have done, would I be able to live with _myself_? The answer was No. I could have killed an Edward and Bella relationship. If every vampire had lived by the rule of their instinct, then there would be barely and mates. No wonder there are so many nomads! They killed everything before they could even get the chance to see what their next meal was like as a person. Perhaps a scientist -destined to solve world hunger or cancer- could be killed for one moment of predatory lust. No, I could not kill a human... at least not a good one.

Maybe Edward wasn't as flawed as he recalled himself to be when he killed murderers and rapists. _What could I hunt...?_

"Bella?" Charlie burst my overwhelming bubble where my future was being decided. _Oh crap, now I'm going to have to face my father. _He called again, this time in a bit of panic. "Bella?!"

I groaned as I wrapped my bandage back around my head. "In here Charlie." I stood up straight, surprised at myself. I felt confident and strong -the opposite from frightened and fragile. I turned and opened the door with a little smile. This was me really changing. He was right in-front of me, looking worried yet livid. Surprising myself yet again, I realised that I didn't care. He tried to stare me down, but I just stood there, waiting for him to get it out and say something.

"Why are you smiling?" He said gruffly, and I tried to straighten myself out as I sat back on my bed, unaware that I was even smiling. Maybe I'd never stopped. I countered with a question of my own.

"Why am I even here?" He looked at me in unguarded shock at first. I never talked back, I always answered a question put to me like a good little girl. I didn't want to be such a frightened little girl anymore.

"Why-"

"Oh, why, why, why? Just answer my question!" I snapped, a little annoyed. Apparently this new me had little tolerance for avoidance. I was like that all along, but me being so little and fragile, I'd never shown it. _Why did I hide myself for so long?_

"Okay Bella. Just calm down. I know this must be hard for you to be back in here considering what happened last time." _What _is _he on about? _I looked around the room and saw similar features to it, but nothing about it would make me upset_. Wait... 'what happened last time'? Oh. _This is the room I was in after James' attack, or for a cover story, after I fell down a few flights of stairs and crashed through a window at a hotel when I'd decided to run back to Renee. _Not the best cover story to make me look strong and not-so fragile. _He continued with his explanation._ "_That Newton kid knocked you out. He's just outside actually. He hasn't left all day... Say, Bells, is there something going on there?" He tried to hide his hope by sounding pretective, but he wasnt fooling me.

"No, there's nothing going on between Mike and I." _but maybe there could be...? I mean, he's willing to give me the time of the day isn't he?_ "I'm fine in here Charlie. I'm not gunna cry because Edward isn't here to hold my hand." He looked completely shocked and as white as a sheet. Had I not said Edwards name out loud since he left? It appears not. "Don't act so surprised Charlie. I'm not letting my past weigh me down anymore. I'm all about the future." I said with a grin, taking his hands in my own to assure him. To say he looked confused was an understatement.

"If you're getting better-"

"I _am _better." I corrected him.

"If you're so happy now then why did you attack Lauren Mallory?" He shouted at me, but I still got hs sympathetic eyes. _He still thinks I'm fragile. You want fragile? You've got it. _With that a big fat tear rolled down my cheek and he was immediately sorry and apologising.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's Isabella. It's on my birth certificate so that's what I should be called. You named me after all." I added with a weak smile. _I must say, he looks surprisingly convinced. _I took a deep breath for dramatic effect. "I know what I did was wrong-" _Lies. "-_but she was goading me. She was insulting me in-front of the whole school and I guess I just snapped. She told me I was ugly and stinky and that Edward should have stayed because she -and I quote- 'could have showed him what he was missing' with me. I just got so mad." _Okay, so a bit of truth in there. I was completely pissed by the superficial bitch. I wish I was a vampire right now so I could just eat her flabby ass and get it done with. _Suddenly and answer to an earlier question came to my head. _What could I hunt...?_

I could hunt what I hated. I could remove the scum of society. Killing murderers and rapists was only going half way -the tempting whores needed to be destroyed to make the task complete. Marriages are ruined by the superficial -old men hooked in by the young and toned bodies of bleach blond twenty-somethings, milking their youth for all its worth, decreasing the value by doing so. If I hunted such abominations, I'd never go hungry -the world is overrun by them.

"Bells?" Charlies hand was suddenly on my arm. Oh yeah, he's still here. "Are you okay in there? The look on your face... well to be honest Isabella, it was scary."

"Hey. You called me Isabella." I said softly -genuinely.

"Yeah, well its your name, who am I to argue." He said abashed.

"Aw, Charlie come here." I offered him a hug and he took it, seeming to savor it as he lightly draped his strong arms around me. "I love you dad. I hope you know that." _Leaving him will be really hard._

"What's this all about?" He asked as he pulled away. "You're not trying to butter me up or something are you?" He asked, curious and embarrassed.

"No, I don't want anything... accept a new car." I added onto the end. To my total and utter shock he didn't explode on the spot. _I _was_ joking, but when in Rome!! _"Oh please!"

"Isabella, you can't have a new car after doing that to Lauren, no-matter how deserved."

"Please Dad. How am I supposed to have a new start with old appliances weighing me down? The truck is seconds from keeling over anyway." He seemed to be pondering my pleading.

"I'll think about it."

"Yeah, please do. Oh, make sure it's not another rusty red thing. I need a real car. You can't have fresh with old musky smoke smelling seats." He laughed and ran his hand through his balding head. A minor image of Edward doing the exact same thing last time we were here flashed before my eyes, but it stopped quickly enough. Like I said, a harmless shadow. "So... can I go home now?"

"Yeah, but you need to write a police statement in-case Lauren presses charges."

"Trust me Dad, she wont be pressing charges." He muttered an okay, though I doubt he believed me. He rose and picked up his hat. I hadn't noticed he was still in his uniform. Poor bloke must have come straight from work.

"I'll get the statement papers sorted tomorrow." _Thanks for the faith!_

"I told you, it wont be needed." I said again as he walked out. I waited a step behind and muttered in a dark voice under my breath. "Best friends don't press charges." A maliscious grin spread across my face as we walked out of the private room to sign my release papers.

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	3. Fabrics And Fish

**Here is something annoying. I just had about fifty '' all over the place! What is with that? XP Well my dearies, I know I'm a boob for not updating as often as I'd like, but I've had a massive two day Art Exam. All the same, enjoy!**

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Last time on Natural Fisher...**_

"Trust me Dad, she wont be pressing charges." He muttered an okay, though I doubt he believed me. He rose and picked up his hat. I hadn't noticed he was still in his uniform. Poor bloke must have come straight from work.

"I'll get the statement papers sorted tomorrow." _Thanks for the faith!_

"I told you, it wont be needed." I said again as he walked out. I waited a step behind and muttered in a dark voice under my breath. "Best friends don't press charges." A malicious grin spread across my face as we walked out of the private room to sign my release papers.

**Fabrics And Fish**

Throughout the ride home I was in an ecstatic mood. I was finally finding a genuine reason to start taking care of myself. After all of those cold nights spent trying to hold my long shattered and brittle heart together, I'm finally seeing a light at the end of this dark tunnel of pain and nightmares. All around me I can see the girls I should have been like -the types of lives I should have lived if Edward had never entered my life and turned it so dramatically on its axis. In the far distance I can see a naturally beautiful and strong woman -the world extinguished of all that could cause her harm or poison her life. One day I'll feel like I'm Isabella again -truly Isabella, not the edited version for the benefit of all those around her that the world had come to know as Bella. I don't think Edward even got a glimpse of the real me -not the hidden traits of my personality that society muted. He'd not seen the potential woman I could be because I had not developed in life to that point yet -but I am now. The thought of becoming my true self one day will keep me going strong.

New ideas are brewing in my head with each second that passes, giving me a reason to smile. I can smile for the future I will have -a future that not one of the Cullens had the courage to give me. Despite my wish to be the girl I see in the distance at this very moment, I am grateful for them being so cowardly. I doubt that I would have ever been given the chance to become what I now wish to be. To be bound by fake love they would have changed me with would have destroyed that future. This isn't just about me becoming a vampire. This is about me becoming myself for the first time.

I caught Charlie sneaking me a few confused glances in the car, though he was obviously ecstatic himself to an extent -happy to see his daughter open her eyes to the world. When I walked upstairs to my room to formulate how I can become my future I turned and gave him a genuine smile. I'd decided that with the career im sporting for, he really deserved his last years with me to be full of smiles and love. I had spent too many months without hope that it was effecting Charlie. He's probably thinking 'my little girl's back! praise the lord!'

I laughed out loud as I plonked on my bed, feeling the rumble of amusement in my chest unbelievably foreign. I felt the fabric around me -the sheets I had used to muffle my screams and sobs of my nightmares no longer than twenty-four hours ago. My fingers weaved their way lovingly through the fabric that had grounded me from the nights as if I could feel its whole life. I could almost see the hardships it had been through as it was made, seeing and feeling just how much the years old material had found its way to its own destiny - to give me comfort. I felt how it had given me the only warmth that no stone-cold arms could have ever given me. With the supernatural so close to me I'd never had the time to look at everything normal surrounding me. Every appliance, piece of clothing, mixture of food! The life cycle of everything around me had led it to me.

When Edward left me I'd felt like everything had repelled from me. Now I see that everything was still here, just waiting for me to realise it. Sure, he'd taken a few items that I wish I had to remember our time by, but that just meant the lifecycle had led them to him. Everything was like clockwork, bar one thing.

If I stopped my life cycle, that didn't necessarily mean everything would stay with me. People would grow, the new would become the old and all I could do about it is to grow and wither with it or stop it in its tracks. Without time primes cannot be reached, though neither can a sellby date. I need to figure out my deadline for becoming the woman I know I can be. For the first time in months I looked at my dismal computer and thanking everything around me for it. The cycle had led it to me and now it could fulfil its purpose -to give me some answers I needed.

"Bella, you okay up there?" Charlie shouted from downstairs.

"Yeah I'm great. Why?" It felt so good to say that truthfully for the first time since everything happened.

"You've just been laughing for quite a while." _Huh._ In my inner revelations I hadn't stopped laughing. How long had it been since I'd truly laughed like this? Since Edward left there was no sign of hope for me, but with everything that's happened today my life is really being put into perspective. I can have that future he wanted for me, just like he promised. A few of the minor details are altered in my plan, I must admit, but no-matter how this turns out, it will end in my happiness. It's all he ever wanted for me. I know that now.

"That's because life is looking up!!" I felt like squealing in joy. I turned to computer down and tried not to let its snails-pace dent my good mood like it always seemed to do in the past. When the search engine finally popped up I felt anticipation of deciding my future tonight. After an hour of searching, I decided that 23 was the perfect age for me. I wouldn't be underdeveloped, but I wouldn't be grey and baggy. I'd be properly filled out and at my peak.

I grinned as I jumped on my bed, flopping with exhaustion. Things were finally starting to come together and make sense. I could sleep peacefully tonight.

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_"Bella..." Red hair, wild in the wind. Teeth bared as she grins at me. Blood drips from her fingers. Blood splatters on the floor... A cafeteria of children. Both hands gripping mercilessly... Blood splatters on the floor.... Men in robes holding hands..... Blood splatters on the floor...._

I woke panting in fear from my nightmare. _Why is this nightmare repeating itself? _It was exactly the same, each minute detail precise as the last time it was played in my head. _Are my dreams trying to tell me something? _I sat up thoroughly groggy. The sun wasn't even up yet. With a groan I flopped back down onto the pillow, closing my eyes to think. This dream obviously wanted me to figure something out or bring something to my attention. _What the hell could it be trying to do though?_ I thought through the possibilities.

Could this be about Victoria? Was it to warn me about the volatile hunter? Was it trying to tell me she was coming for me? That the blood splattering was mine on the floor? If so, then why did I see the cafeteria scene all over again? The blood that splattered then wasn't mine... it was anothers blood at my hand. Blood. That was the connection with each scene in my dream. So Victoria signified my fears... that I would die for Edwards decisions. I feared her getting the revenge she seeked but seemed unable to gain. The cafeteria scene was what I had done in retaliation to Laurens words. I saw her for the filth that she was and I wanted to destroy it -correction, _still want to _destroy it. The men in robes holding hands.... now that part was lost to me.

Why would I ever cross paths with robed men? Why would I even dream of them? I dashed it to being the tag-along to the more important points of my dream. Victoria signified my fears and what was coming for me, whilst the cafeteria scene showed me the point where a pivotal part of my life occurred. The men in robes must have been my imagination reclaiming my mind whilst I was out -like a break from all of the seriousness.

At some point my alarm buzzed me awake. "I've just finally got back to sleep! GOD!" I groaned in annoyance and frustration, rubbing my eyes and throwing the covers off of me furiously. I went to the shower and mumbled the whole way there like an insane woman. After my shower I dug through my wardrobe for some nicer clothes. _A new start must include a new me. _If I was going to become the woman I knew I could be, then I'd have to start changing the way I lived my life. First off, I need to look the part -confident but sweet- so I looked innocent enough that people wouldn't believe what I had done to Lauren.

After half an hour of ruthless rummaging all I could scrape up was a pair of blue jean-shorts, a peach tunic and a grey blazor jacket. _What the hell can I do about shoes?_ It's about time I start switching from flats to killer heels. _I have to learn how to be more co-ordinated!_ I looked up at the clock. _Damn! One hour for me to find some shoes, get dressed, put on some makeup, eat some breakfast for the first time in god knows how long and get to school. Under pressure of _what?!

I ran for the attic where I saw a cardboard box sitting dead in the centre of the room. It said my name on it. My heart stopped when I saw the script it was in. It was unmistakably Alices handwriting. We're they back? "Oh God no." I said it before even thinking. _I didn't want them back? No, I didn't want them back! I'm moving on! It really is about time! _I ran along the stairs excited at getting a final present from my former best friend. When I opened the box it wall filled with designer shoes. I was gobsmacked to say the least. There was a little note at the bottom of the box.

"I'm proud of you for moving on. Have a good life Bella. Alice." If I had discovered this a day sooner this would have broken my heart, but it only made me smile. "Thanks Alice." I whispered with a smirk, picking up a pair of high heeled grey ankle boots. _Should do._

When I went to the mirror I had never seen myself so radiant; so full of life, even with the small bandage still on my head. I felt so confident and happy with myself now. It's amazing what tearing out a bitchy blondes hair can do to your confidence. I put on some makeup to highlight my features so that Alice would be proud of the outcome. Although she abandoned me with her brother, her gift to me showed that a small part of her still cared, and that would suffice for me. I would leave her and her mate Jasper out of my evil thoughts as my thanks.

I ran downstairs with my little remaining time to go grab something nutritious to eat. When I got there I quickly snatched a piece of toast from Charlies side plate. As I stuffed the toast in my mouth I realised how stupid I must have looked, and I felt my trademark blush take me again. Charlies eyes popped wide and his jaw went slack as he watched me. I stood frozen still, mid-chew, shocked and worried that he might be having a heart attack or a stroke or something. "Charlie?!" I breathed out in a gush, not knowing what to do and what was going on. He dropped his spoon, and the loud clank seemed to snap him back to reality as he looked me up and down quickly.

"Dear God Bella!"

"What?" I felt a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny, but if this is what I wanted, I would have to get used to people looking at me.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I'm just happy to see you eating!!" He looked truly ecstatic. Surely I had eaten _something_ in my days of depression, otherwise I would be thoroughly bed-ridden or dead by now.

"You're so melodramatic. I eat, you just dont see."

"Well that's not all. You're looking.... radiant." He cast his eyes downward and back to his food, paying it special attention. Charlie isn't one for expressing emotions out loud. He was obviously trying to suppress his feelings.

"You don't think I can stay like this can you? You think I'm going to go back to my pathetic depression era." I told him hotly, getting very pissed off and livid all of a sudden. His eyes went wide and his mouth opened.

"Now, Bella, I don't think you can get over them that quickly. I mean Ed-"

"Like I said, I'm not letting my past weigh me down anymore. If you keep doubting me, how can I succeed?!" I spoke to him in a low and dark voice, bordering on cheeky and rude. This new me didn't like repeating things at all.

"Sorry B-" I raised my eyebrow and he corrected himself. "-Isabella. I'm just shocked to see it first hand." I just rolled my eyes and patted his shoulder, a level of affection he would find more comfortable than hugging, despite his recent practice with my nightmares.

"See you later Dad." I called as I left, getting into my truck to get to school. I slammed my door and felt a little tug at my chest, my brow creasing in confusion as to the cause. Thinking back through the conversation I realised the reason. Nearly hearing his name had certainly put a damper on my mood. I wasn't going to let it stick though. I had much bigger teen-aged whore-fish to fry.

As I got out of my stupid, rusty-assed truck I walked into school feeling beautiful and confident for the first time in my life. I held my head high, refusing to let it fall back down to the pavement like every other morning. I would never look there again.

As I walked I noticed every-bodies attention on me, and I mean _everyone. _All conversations had stopped and all moment ceased as I continued to walk, acting unaffected by the stairs. I saw Mike amongst the shocked onlookers, and I winked at him before deciding to. _Am I really going to try for Mike? Could I formulate him in my plan? _In kept eye contact with him and gave him the best attempt of a sexy smile, and by the look on his face he was extremely satisfied with it. I felt myself blush lightly. _I was no Cullen, but maybe I had potential? _

I gave him one last fleeting look under my eyelashes and he stumbled back, eyes still wide and locked on me as I walked into the building. I noticed that a few people caught our exchange leading me to the realisation that I had just publicly staked my claim on him, like I had the right. I guess I do now. It's time someone else ruled the roost. _All I need is minions._

In my lessons leading up to lunch all the boys were staring at me, but I found myself wishing for lunch to come sooner and to see Mike again. It was an odd feeling. Did I genuinely want to see Mike, or just play around with him like he were a puppet? When lunch time finally rolled around I rose gently as Eric rushed over and offered to pick up my books for me. I just shook my head, patting the poor, greasy and spotty boy with such high hopes on the head, wiping my hand once out of sight. _Please, I have a league._

As soon as I entered the cafeteria all conversations stopped again, to suddenly pick up in hushed ramblings. I just walked proudly forward when I spotted Lauren with a thick, white bandage on her head a few moments before she spotted me. As I saw the bandage my attention was quickly drawn to the thick red life force I had torn from her. I wanted to do it again -to see it again. I felt blood lust, but not for nourishment. My sudden fascination with blood certainly was a turnaround from fainting Bella. My glare quickly turned into a smile as I walked up to her, trying not to let my face show just how amusing and truly satisfying it was to see her tremble at my approach, fear clearly evident in her fake-lashed eyes. I stopped right before her and she looked paralysed with fear, though she managed to spit out a few words at me without meeting my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I lowered myself to her level, taking her hands in mine as she looked puzzled and still extremely fearful to the point that she couldn't find the courage to pull her hands away and find out my reaction.

"Oh Lauren. I've been abandoning you since everything with Edward." To say she looked shocked is an understatement. Part of me expected her to cock her head and ask _'no comprende?'_ but I knew she didn't have the intelligence required to learn a second language. "Oh, you're pretty hair!" I exclaimed, fingering her hair like I gave a damn and actually liked the straw-like texture. I realised that all of these overly fake parts of her were so concentrated to bring me to my Epiphany yesterday. If she was a nice, natural girl then I would have never made it this far. "I just flipped yesterday because I heard the things you said. It hurt my feelings that you could say such things. To be honest, you should be apologising to me."

"Oh Bella! I'm sorry I hurt you're feelings so much!" I had to work hard to keep the shock and amusement out of my voice. _Why is everyone bending so easily to my will lately? Hey, I'm not about to complain!_

"Yeah. It wasn't a nice thing to say." I said, faking that I was still upset, moving my hands from hers in sorrow. She took them back immediately, searching for my eyes.

"Bella, I'm a bitch! I'm really, really sorry that I said those things about you." I took this opportunity to publicly humiliate her.

"Yeah, its just that you sounded extremely bitter that Edward had chosen me over you. You must have felt very inferior." I think she may have hinted that I had just insulted her ability to gain a mans attention, but she didn't seem to totally acknowledge it.

"Yeah." She shifted her eyes to the floor, looking awkward and slightly confused. A fake smile rushed to my face and I bent back down right into her face, taking her hands again, speaking with enthusiasm. "Oh Lauren, lets be best friends. We can snare together." I whispered the last part, and she looked unbelievably happy, like I had just made her life. "You too Jessica. All three of us."

Jessica became breathlessly happy at the opportunity to be addressed to like she was a person rather than a slave. "Oh Bella! We'd love to!"

"Good. By the way, my name's _Isa_bella." I said, sitting between them as they nodded vigorously, completely unfazed as I sat at the head of the table, effectively worming my way in and making myself queen.

Well_... that was easy!

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_**Review for my my babies XD**

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	4. Authors Note

Hello everyone. Let me just get this out now.

DO NOT READ ANY OF MY STORIES.

Lately I have been into reading more than writing, so I haven't updated anything. I haven't wanted to. I still don't feel that overwhelming urge, but right now I know that at some point in the future I will be pulling everything, one by one, and rehashing them. I'm doing this because it's been two years in most cases. TWO. YEARS. That is a lot of time to refine my writing style; to change and update my structure and vocabulary. I'm in my second year of English Literature and Language at college, so obviously some techniques have become second nature to me.

So I beg of you, please remain patient. My creative mind is already back in drive. I've recently thought about two new stories, but I have learned from the past and will not submit them until I've sorted out what I already have.

I plan on adding this as a new chapter to every one of my stories so those on story alert know, so if you have multiple emails you only need to read the one.

Again, I'm sorry, but be patient. I promise it will be worth it. I'll probably start the process in two weeks once my Photography and Art Deadlines are out of the way.


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